Babies

There are so many wonderful things in this world that it would be a blessing to be able to encounter all of them in one lifetime. Of course, with good things come our fair share of bad things but I think all the good things make it worth it, right?

Not everyone gets to travel the world and live in luxury. Not everyone is guaranteed a proper meal or clean water each day. But one thing that most people do have is the ability to procreate. Obviously this is not always a good thing and there are men and women who cannot have children for various reasons. Some people can’t afford to have children or are unable to properly care for them. Maybe it is just a bad environment altogether.

But this blog isn’t about the serious issues of the world and I never intended it to be. The main purpose of this blog is to talk about BABIES. Regardless of who the parents are, where they live and their circumstances, babies are bundles of joy that should be cherished and adored and here are all of the reasons why.

I have not had a child of my own yet seeing as I’m still in school working towards a degree and living at home with my parents at the age of 21 but I have had first hand experience with infants over the years. I’m sure that many parents would be able to relate even more than I can.

1) Have you ever had that moment where you’re about to hold a baby for the first time and you feel as if someone is putting their entire world in your arms?

It’s a nerve wracking experience, especially when you’ve never had much experience with children in general.

You hold them slightly away from your body as if you are a danger to them or they will explode at any moment.

Every tiny movement they make has you panicking and feeling like you’re losing control.

But at the same time you want everyone to think you know what you’re doing, like you’re a pro or it just comes naturally. So you tell yourself to calm down and be more confident. You hold that baby with a proud look on your face while the parents give you encouraging smiles.

But come on, you know they’re REALLY thinking “WATCH THE HEAD!” “Why are they holding him like a football?” or “I really hope they don’t have kids...”

But that first time holding a baby and successfully refraining from dropping them on their head is a great moment and makes you feel like you can handle anything.

2) In the grand scheme of things, throughout life people are taught to believe that babies are weak and fragile creatures that should be tiptoed around all of the time.

So our mind is blown when the fierce grip of a tiny baby fist shatters that schema to pieces.

Babies have some pretty nifty reflexes that are fun to witness. When a baby grips your finger with their hands of steel you’ll be surprised by how much strength they actually have.

Although this is just a normal reflex…it’s still nice to pretend that they purposefully hold your finger that tight and don’t want to let you go.





3) Let’s be honest here, babies are just freaking adorable…Which is completely intentional because it ensures the survival of our species. We, as humans, would be less likely to take care of a vile looking creature as compared to one that makes us say “awwww.”

With their chubby cheeks and dimpled bottoms and stubby arms and legs.

We can’t forget their angel hair, wide curious eyes and head that is too big for their body.

Or how about their perfect skin, infectious laugh and smiles caused by impending farts.

Somehow, babies make us use ridiculous high pitched voices and babble words that don’t even exist. SOMEHOW babies make us want to hug and kiss and tickle them until they’re so tired from laughing. It’s because they’re cute and we all know it.

4) This is purely guesswork here, but I’m PRETTY sure another reason parents adore their babies is because they are their own.

That baby is a little piece of them. A perfect little combination of genes that is, at the same time, a growing mystery.

How tall will she be? What will her voice sound like when she begins to talk? Will he look more like mom or dad? Will she be shy or outgoing?

So many questions are unanswered and humans are intrigued by mystery.




We have to know the answers to everything which is why I think parents enjoy babies so much. They are their own personal little mystery. A mystery that parents have a mixed sense of control over. Nature versus nurture anyone? Regardless, to watch your own spawn grow up in front of your very eyes is amazing, I’m sure.

5) Have you ever been in a store? How about a store that has clothes? Let’s be more specific.

Have you ever been in a store that sells infant clothes? I don’t know why but tiny versions of things are immediately ten times cuter than regular sized things.

I can’t be the only one that thinks this.

Babies have the cutest clothes. Sure, they grow out of them within a few weeks but it’s okay because they are cute.

Have you ever seen a tiny little pair of shoes and wanted to buy them even if you don’t have a kid? I have. In fact, the other day I saw the smallest pair of blue Crocs I have ever seen in my life. I HATE crocs. But these crocs? Heck, I wanted them! They were smaller than my fist!

6) Did you have a really boring life? Wow, what a way to start a paragraph, let’s try that again. Do you have regrets about your lack of experiences growing up? Hmm…not much better, oh well.

Well another great thing about babies is you can live vicariously through them!

 Didn’t get a chance to take ballet classes? Put your kid in ballet classes and go to their recitals!

Didn’t get to hit a homerun on a baseball team? Sign your kid up for a sport and cheer from the sidelines!



Go ahead and be that annoying parent screaming from the bench. Just kidding, that’s a bit much. Also, I do not condone entering children in beauty pageants, that’s crossing a major line.

But you know what I mean folks! Babies give you a chance to give your kid the childhood you never had and it’s a great feeling to see them have fun and know that you are the one responsible for giving them that opportunity.

7) Babies are awesome because you can call them whatever you want and they won’t care. You can give them the most embarrassing nickname that they will cringe at in their teenage years, but for now they don’t know any better! Call them pookie, baby bums or boobly bear, it doesn’t matter.


They won't be like "WHAT did you call me? SO not cool mom..."

8) Lastly, we all remember the shows we used to watch when we were tiny tots bouncing around in our bouncy swings and crawling on the rough carpets of the living room. We remember Elmo and the rest of the Sesame Street characters.

Back in the day when the Cookie Monster was still the Cookie Monster and we didn’t know what animal Arthur was.

We remember the care bears theme song and all the Looney Tunes characters.

Back when Franklin was still on regularly and Barney wasn’t creepy.

Babies give us all that opportunity to sit on the couch with our legs up and watch kiddy shows all day without feeling guilty.

Your excuse is that you’re watching them with your kid but you know, deep down inside, you are enjoying being a kid again yourself for a while.

I’m sure there are countless other reasons why people love babies but these are some that have been most prominent in my little world. Babies are hard work, but they are also cute, fun, lovable and huggable. They may kick and scream and whine and be really extreme, but at the end of the day, the good is worth the bad.

Chocolate

I will never be able to comprehend why anyone would not like chocolate. I mean, even if you are allergic to chocolate I think it would still be very difficult to say it tastes bad.

Unless the only chocolate you ever had was the cheap wannabe chocolate from the dollar store that are wrapped in gold foil pretending to be oversized coins.




But really, I don’t know if it’s the fact that I know I have a lot of Easter chocolate waiting for me at home or because I’m really hungry in general, but I am craving me some chocolate SO BAD. This is one of countless reasons why I wish the wizarding world of Harry Potter was real…but I’ll save that for another post.

Chocolate is delicious for countless reasons:

1) It can come in many different forms such as:

Bars,
Bite-sized balls,
Eggs,
Your favourite cartoon character,
Bunnies,
Sundae sauce,
Icing
…the list goes on!

2) Not only do they come in many fun-to-eat shapes, they can also be combined with other flavours to make them extra mouth-watering.

For example, don’t you just love choosing a chocolate at random from the assorted box, without looking at the “chocolate legend” and surprising your taste buds?

I know I do.

3) Chocolate can be used in so many different foods which automatically makes them BETTER!

Strawberries are good, sure. But dipped in chocolate they are BETTER.

Vanilla cake is fine and dandy…but chocolate cake is BETTER.

Cookies can start out kind of boring…but then you add chocolate chips and they are automatically BETTER.

I remember as a kid, I would go downstairs for dinner and my mom had put out a glass of milk for me as per usual.

But then I see a spoon and I know that it’s a special day and that there is chocolate syrup sitting on the bottom of my glass waiting to transform the milk into something BETTER.

I could continue but I’m sure you get the point.

Also, people seem to like chocolate SO much that they will try covering anything in chocolate to see what it’s like. You may think mixing sweet and salty is strange like chocolate covered pretzels, but I assure you there are weirder things out there. For example….wait for it…

CHOCOLATE COVERED BACON.

Yup, that exists. I think that might be pushing it.

4) IT’S JUST GOOD. HOW CAN SOMEONE DISLIKE CHOCOLATE? I DO NOT UNDERSTAND!

You’re probably thinking, “well do you even know anyone who dislikes chocolate?” The answer is YES. Such people do exist.

Sand

So for all of my blogs thus far, I have usually chosen either yay or nay with each topic. But now I have a dilemma... What should sand be rated? I have had a love/hate relationship with sand ever since I was little.

Sand is great to make castles out of when you're at the beach. However, it's kind of like snow. If it's too dry, you're left with a sad little hill that even your homemade red flag won't stand up in. If it's too wet, you have yourself a lovely puddle of mud and it's sure a pain in the butt to clean out of your bucket. You need the right amount of moisture for it to stay solid and stick together. Luckily, this isn't too difficult to come by on a beach since it's usually in close proximity to a body of water.

So yay for sandcastles!

Okay, so now you have your beautiful sand castle all decorated with rocks and shells. You even made a little moat! But man you're getting tired of refilling it every few minutes. The darn sand keeps soaking it up! (-1 point for sand).


But it's not the end of the world because you're much more concerned with protecting your creation from the feet of rowdy teenagers and bratty toddlers.

It's about noon now and it's a good time to grab a snack. You reach over and...*GASP* you see your poor, poor fingernails. Brown, sandy, filthy fingernails. You don't even want to think about what your toes must look like! Plus, you can never get all the sand out! Go ahead, try dipping your hands in the water, it will only do so much folks. One nay for sand. It's an even match so far.

Skip ahead a few years....like 15 or so years. You're on vacation with your significant other and there is a gorgeous sunset on the horizon.

You're walking along the long stretch of warm sand, hand in hand. It's a romantic scene from any number of books and movies.

At these moments, you aren't thinking about the sand beneath your toenails. No, you are lost in the eyes of your other half.

Okay, enough with the sappy stuff. This is definately a yay no matter how cliche it sounds. I'd like to find one person who would disagree.

How about those days when you are laying out on the beach with your fancy alcoholic beverage that probably has a dirty name and getting a nice burn...I  mean tan...and you think "hmm I think I'll go for a dip." You stand up and "OMG IT'S LIKE I'M WALKING ON HOT COALS!" Sand gets HOT, man. It's serious business. It doesn't even matter if you just came out of the water or if you have sandals on. The sand will still feel like it's from the fiery depths of hell.


And of course, the shade is always ridiculously far from the water. NAY for hot sand. But ohhhh when you finally reach the blissful shaded sand, it's like you just dipped your feet into cold silk.

Isn't it weird how volleyball is both better and worse in the sand at the same time? Others probably have different opinions but it's TRUE.

Playing volleyball in the sand is awesome because then you feel like you're in an episode of Baywatch or something.

Plus, if you happen to fall (which you will if you're as uncoordinated as I am in sports) then at least you have something soft to land on.




The con here is that it's difficult to move quickly. The sand sucks up your feet and it's just impossible to get any traction (hence more falling). And with all that sand being kicked around, some is BOUND to find your eyeballs because that's just how sand rolls.

Wind likes to do that too. Have you ever shaken off your towel before leaving the beach and gotten a face full of sand because the wind decided to kick in right at that moment? I think the wind and sand are working together sometimes....

So volleyball in the sand? You be the judge.

Lastly, you're packing up your things after a long day and are heading home. You tried your best to get the sand off of everything before leaving but no matter what, that stuff gets in EVERYTHING. In your towel, hair, toes, shoes, eyes, food, bags, purses and any other nooks and crannies that you definitely do not want sand to intrude. NAY!

So what's the verdict? It appears that sand is fine and dandy when you are young and sometimes its nice to look at, but overall, sand is not as awesome as you would think.

Toenails

Feet.

Feet are digusting extensions of our legs that we unfortunately need to stay upright, walk, run, dance and do the moonwalk. I hate feet, no, I despise them. Why?

1. It doesn't matter what kind of socks you wear, you are always left with those little fabric fluffs between your toes.

I've lost count of the amount of times I thought there was a rogue spider trying to interrupt my morning shower but really it was just a fluff on the run.


2. I don't know who these people are on commercials who have perfect looking feet (if that were possible) but I want to meet them.

I am not convinced that feet like that actually exist. I'm 99% sure it's a photoshop miracle.

3. The fact that products such as the Ped Egg exist is further proof that feet are horrid. Do people actually use those? If you haven't heard of such things, let me explain.

Imagine a cheese grater...but you use it on your foot to scrape off the rough skin on the bottoms of your heels and toes. UGH. Oh but it's okay because they make it seem less menacing by making it look like an egg.

4. Ever heard of trench foot? The name is enough to make me cringe. Enough said.


I could name more reasons but I think you get the point. Basically, I think that guy from "Saw" had the right idea.




But what is even more disgusting is toenails.
Fingernails actually have a purpose. They can help you get a splinter out of your finger or open those annoying shampoo bottles. They can satisfy an irritating itch and scratch lottery tickets!

But toenails? What the heck do toenails do? They make holes in your socks if you don't cut them every few days...Great, thats awesome because I wanted an excuse to go sock shopping.

And when you DO cut them, they end up flying all over the bathroom like a superhero on speed.

Hi nail clippers, could you do me a favour and try to get along with the toenails this time?

Every time we meet is like a treasure hunt except I don't get the gold at the end.





In the summer I have to paint you so you are somewhat presentable in my flipflops.. This is time consuming! I have much better things to do with my time in the summer...like walk and write pointless blogs.

Therefore, I think we can all agree that toenails are not awesome, nor will they ever be.

Rumour has it that our pinky toe is obsolete and we don't actually need it anymore. Maybe evolution will negate the need for feet altogether! But let's not get too excited.

 

Amnesia

              There was one time way back when I was 5 and it was...

              Wait no, maybe I was 7...yeah I was 7 and I was playing 
              a baseball game when...

              No, no that's not right, it was soccer I think.

              Hold on, I'm in the wrong decade. I played soccer when I was 
              8. Is decade the right word? No I meant to say year.




What was I talking about? Oh yes, my story!
I was walking down the road and I saw a cat, it was orange...or brown? I was trying to pet it to see if it would trust me.

But then something happened. I can't quite remember but I assure you it's a thrilling story...

Memories are golden. I truly cannot imagine what life would be like if my memory wasn't somewhat functional on a normal level.

I'm a person that lives in the past. I love to relive old memories, "walk down memory lane" so to speak.
I could get really inspirational but instead let's talk about something exciting!

Imagine we invented a machine...a machine that could take us back to old memories so we could ACTUALLY relive them or even CHANGE them. IMAGINE THE POSSIBILITIES.

Hmm, I think I just described a time machine.
oh well.

EDIT: ATTENTION! Ignore everything you just read. That was Megan from the future. She came from a year from now actually.

Turns out we did invent a time machine (cleverly named the memory machine) and it's existence has created a hole in the space-time continuum leading to the end of the world.

So there you have it, it's all my fault and the Mayan's knew it. WE MUST BAND TOGETHER TO STOP THIS FROM HAPPENING!




What was this post even about?
I really have no idea where I was going with this.
I'm tired.

How is it that you can have the busiest day and be full of energy but on the days where you do absolutely nothing it's like you ran a marathon and a half.


Kitteh ran marathon...and a half.

On another note, foot cramps suck. Technically any kind of cramp suck but foot cramps especially. Mostly because they involve feet and feet are horrid in general.

Do you ever experience times when you are sleeping peacefully, dreaming about rainbows and butterflies and hammers...

What? I'm sure there are people in the world who dream about hammers...

I dreamt that my light switch turned into a shower head last night. True story.








Anyways, do you ever have those nights where you are suddenly jarred awake by some unknown pain which you quickly realize is located in your foot. Your toes are spasming as if they are saying, "HOLY TOLITO BATMAN, SOMETHINGS UP AND IT'S GETTING TO BE SERIOUS BUSINESS!"

Feet are gross.

Then you spend the next 5 to what-feels-like-forever minutes trying to tell your foot to calm down.


You try standing on it, rubbing it, talking to it. All the while you are half asleep, almost trying not to wake up too much because then you'll never be able to fall back asleep.


Then FINALLY it's gone and you slowly try to creep back into bed. Right when you get comfortable...BAM. Foot frenzy. This happens over and over and over again.








This happens to me quite often. How does it make me feel you ask? Well I'll tell you since you asked so nicely.

It makes me think: Boy I could sure use a banana right now.

BECAUSE BANANAS HAVE POTASSIUM AND POTASSIUM IS YUM...I mean, good for foot cramps or something.

No banana! I demand you be more happy! You're killing the mood!

MUCH better!

I still don't remember what this post was supposed to be about.

Moments

There are moments in life that words have a hard time describing. Feelings that leave you wanting more but you are unsure why. It’s moments like these that make life exciting and spontaneous.

That moment of pure joy when you find out you finally got a little sister after wanting one your entire life.

That moment of pride and accomplishment when receiving your high school diploma. Throwing a hat into the air never felt so significant.



That moment when you lock eyes with someone for the first time and you feel as if you know exactly what they are thinking. That there is something special about this person that you can’t explain. Something in their gaze that is intriguing and mysterious and you can’t help but want to know them.


That moment when you wake up in the morning convinced that the dream you had was real. It was so vivid and full of detail. Then later that day you experience déjà vu because what you had dreamed about is now occurring.


That moment of stress and worry where you wonder how you did on a test before seeing your mark. You wonder if you studied enough for the A you wanted. You fear you won’t be good enough or that you will fail.

That moment of pure silence when you are with someone. With anyone else the silence would be awkward but with this person it’s comforting.

That moment of feeling safe and simply content just to be spending time together.

Words don’t need to be said.

That moment when you’re sitting in a roller coaster at an amusement park and it reaches the top.

That moment just before the roller coaster goes over the edge into what feels like an endless free fall.

That moment where you think for a split second “how did I get here” but then the sudden exhilaration of the drop makes you forget any rational thought.

You’re terrified but thrilled at the same time. You feel like screaming and laughing and it feels like your stomach is in your throat.


That’s love.

Happiness, joy, and fear.
Wonder, excitement and worry.

Many emotions for many situations that I can only begin to describe.

Love is such a complex emotion that I can only seem to use cheesy examples and metaphors to describe it.

You are at the local pool. You’ve gone swimming a few times before. It was fun at first but you always ended up swallowing too much water or forgetting your towel. One time you were even really excited about going to the pool, despite past experience. But you never got to go because it closed due to bad weather. So far your experience at the pool has not been the best.

You’ve always wanted to try the diving board. It’s always been there but you were too nervous to actually jump. But one day you decide, oh what the heck, I’m going to do it. Nerves get the best of you though so you take your time climbing up the ladder, giving yourself time to change your mind before it’s too late. You finally get to the top and it’s the moment of truth.

You stare down at the deep blue water. You realize you’re also afraid of heights. Fears start to enter your mind like, what if the water is really cold?

What if I screw up and slip and hit my head?

What if I drown!?


But finally, you get your act together and take the plunge. You feel a sudden rush of adrenaline as your feet finally leave the board and you dive into the water with everything you have.



I’m glad I finally jumped.

Umbrellas

You wake up in the morning to a grey, cloudy day that appears to be void of sunshine and happiness.
You look at your clock and it says 6:00am in those angry red letters as your alarm blares.

You rush around to get ready for work or school or wherever it is you need to be at such a godforsaken early hour of the morning.

You are unsure about whether or not it's going to rain but you decide to hope for the best because you are 95% sure your umbrella is lost somewhere under a pile of clothes upstairs.

So instead of spending 5 minutes searching for your umbrella, you grab a cinnamon bun and rush out the door because cinnamon buns are always worth the time. So sweet and covered in icing...I'm getting off topic.

Part way through the day, it starts raining. No, not just raining. Water is coming from the sky in torrents so heavy that you are convinced the entire Earth will be flooded by supper time.

You check the time and hope and pray that it stops raining before you have to head home.

...Because of course today is the one day you decided it would be better to take the bus or walk to your destination rather than drive like a normal person.




There are only 5 more minutes until you can go home and the rain has not ceased. So you start to pack up your things and GASP! Your umbrella is sitting at the bottom of your bag, camoflauged with the dark interior. AWESOME!

It's such a good feeling when you've come to terms with the fact that you're going to be soaked to the bones on your way home but then you discover that no! You will only be partly soaked! Which at this point sounds as good as finding 50 bucks on the ground. You silently congratulate yourself.

Umbrellas are great. Now I don't know where these full body umbrellas originated but I think they have the right idea. Why get partially soaked when you don't have to get soaked at all!

Or how about when you are walking with some friends and it starts to rain and one of your friends just happens to have an umbrella with them that is so huge that it could fit 10 people underneath it.

You end up walking home in a huddled mass as if the raindrops are acid. You feel claustrophobic but it doesn't matter because at least you're dry. We all have one of these friends. (I'm that friend).

These are only rain umbrellas! Not only do umbrellas save you from getting attacked by sky moisture but they also protect you from the sun! But I won't even get into that because the sun and I are kind of friends and I don't want to step on any toes.